Tuesday, April 08, 2003
My name is Joe.
That was my introduction into today’s entry. Sometimes being creative is just so completely exhausting. And I am very tired today. I have no idea why. It’s not like my life is filled up with late night parties and charity events. More often than not, I get a full 8 hours sleep and make sure never to exercise or exert my body in any type of way, so I should have no reason to be anything, but dutifully rested each and every day. Yet, here I sit with eyes still puffy from sleeping and it’s 12:45pm. Harumph.
Last night Paul and I had taco salads again for the 3rd time in 8 days. It’s not like we are eating leftovers. We are creating these taco salads from scratch each time. Could we get any more boring? I think tonight for dinner I will have something NOT Mexican. In fact, maybe I will have pizza. Haven’t eaten that in the last 12 minutes. Might as well see if I still like it… Oh great, now I am totally having pizza for lunch. I just did it to myself. And Lord knows I still like pizza.
Pizza
Pizza
Pizza
Pizza
Pizza
Anyway, did ya’ll catch the beautiful comment that some dickhead left in my “shout outs” from yesterday? Kelly has been getting comments from this douchebag too, so I am positive that it is someone that knows both of us. Reading what this loser wrote didn’t make me upset at all. It made me realize that there are people in the world that are more sad and pathetic than I am. I complain every day about having nothing exciting to do with my life, yet I must be exaggerating, cuz I never have to resort to calling people “cunts” and “fagots” on their websites.
Yet, I do know the correct spelling of “faggot” as I grew up being called that name. Fagot reads like FAGO with a silent “t”.
Snores. I wish it did upset me, cuz then I would have some sort of adrenaline coursing through my veins. Yet, instead, I sit here filled with as much laziness and passivity as I had before I even found the comment.
Know what I did this weekend that was hella stupid?
I was cleaning out my bowl (marijuana pipe) and I broke off a piece of glass on the inside. Unfortunately, the broken piece was slightly bigger than the hole where your mouth goes, so I couldn’t get it out. I tried sticking a hangar up inside of it, but to no avail. SO! I had a GENIUS idea! I remembered from high school physics (although I never took that course) that glass expands when heated up. So I held up my lighter to the mouth piece of the bowl for about 3 minutes. I forgot that when you do that, a black coating of soot covers the glass and anything that touches it, gets covered in black as well. I quickly looked around for a napkin or tissue in order to wipe off the black gook. No luck. Quickly and without any sort of brainpower, I decide to wipe the bowl off on my stomach. (I happened to be naked at the time as I was about to get into the shower). I put the bowl to my stomach and began wiping off the black shit. A searing pain quickly followed as I realized that I was burning a hole right through my stomach. IDIOT ME forgot that only two seconds earlier I was holding a lighter up the mouthpiece. I threw the bowl on the bed and inspected the damage I had done to my tums.
Tums = stomach
A blood blister immediately formed and now I sit here typing this entry with a wound the size of a quarter on my right love handle. It’s REALLY pretty. And I didn’t feel stupid at ALL for having wiped off a blazing hot bowl onto my naked skin.
Why do I do the things I do?
Here is a poem I just wrote:
GAY
Gays.
Quickly flowing through the hands of time
I see your dick embraced with mine.
We slurp, we chew, we even suck
Cat and mouse, a game of luck.
Some day soon, I will beat your face
My boner is tan, Asian race.
When I grow up I’ll see my fate
Cuz gays are gay and gays are straight.
People eat the strangest things
This shoe belongs to Lisa Lings
Some day soon, I’ll be showbiz
If no one knows I tasted jizz.
Gays.
--------------------by Joe Cut the Shit
Ahhhh…that felt good. I am REALLY good at poems, so I thought I would just get one down on paper instead of having it roll around inside my head. If I just did this more often, I might have a book of collected works. I mean, cuz I write such good prose.
My stomach is starting to churn and burn from hunger. I am off to lunch.
What should I have today?
Salad?
Cookies?
Sandwich?
Hot dogs?
Oh yeah…pizza!
And if I wipe off the top layer of grease with my napkin, then it becomes fat free!
ROCK! I am off to La Famiglia!
AY YI YI!
That was my introduction into today’s entry. Sometimes being creative is just so completely exhausting. And I am very tired today. I have no idea why. It’s not like my life is filled up with late night parties and charity events. More often than not, I get a full 8 hours sleep and make sure never to exercise or exert my body in any type of way, so I should have no reason to be anything, but dutifully rested each and every day. Yet, here I sit with eyes still puffy from sleeping and it’s 12:45pm. Harumph.
Last night Paul and I had taco salads again for the 3rd time in 8 days. It’s not like we are eating leftovers. We are creating these taco salads from scratch each time. Could we get any more boring? I think tonight for dinner I will have something NOT Mexican. In fact, maybe I will have pizza. Haven’t eaten that in the last 12 minutes. Might as well see if I still like it… Oh great, now I am totally having pizza for lunch. I just did it to myself. And Lord knows I still like pizza.
Pizza
Pizza
Pizza
Pizza
Pizza
Anyway, did ya’ll catch the beautiful comment that some dickhead left in my “shout outs” from yesterday? Kelly has been getting comments from this douchebag too, so I am positive that it is someone that knows both of us. Reading what this loser wrote didn’t make me upset at all. It made me realize that there are people in the world that are more sad and pathetic than I am. I complain every day about having nothing exciting to do with my life, yet I must be exaggerating, cuz I never have to resort to calling people “cunts” and “fagots” on their websites.
Yet, I do know the correct spelling of “faggot” as I grew up being called that name. Fagot reads like FAGO with a silent “t”.
Snores. I wish it did upset me, cuz then I would have some sort of adrenaline coursing through my veins. Yet, instead, I sit here filled with as much laziness and passivity as I had before I even found the comment.
Know what I did this weekend that was hella stupid?
I was cleaning out my bowl (marijuana pipe) and I broke off a piece of glass on the inside. Unfortunately, the broken piece was slightly bigger than the hole where your mouth goes, so I couldn’t get it out. I tried sticking a hangar up inside of it, but to no avail. SO! I had a GENIUS idea! I remembered from high school physics (although I never took that course) that glass expands when heated up. So I held up my lighter to the mouth piece of the bowl for about 3 minutes. I forgot that when you do that, a black coating of soot covers the glass and anything that touches it, gets covered in black as well. I quickly looked around for a napkin or tissue in order to wipe off the black gook. No luck. Quickly and without any sort of brainpower, I decide to wipe the bowl off on my stomach. (I happened to be naked at the time as I was about to get into the shower). I put the bowl to my stomach and began wiping off the black shit. A searing pain quickly followed as I realized that I was burning a hole right through my stomach. IDIOT ME forgot that only two seconds earlier I was holding a lighter up the mouthpiece. I threw the bowl on the bed and inspected the damage I had done to my tums.
Tums = stomach
A blood blister immediately formed and now I sit here typing this entry with a wound the size of a quarter on my right love handle. It’s REALLY pretty. And I didn’t feel stupid at ALL for having wiped off a blazing hot bowl onto my naked skin.
Why do I do the things I do?
Here is a poem I just wrote:
GAY
Gays.
Quickly flowing through the hands of time
I see your dick embraced with mine.
We slurp, we chew, we even suck
Cat and mouse, a game of luck.
Some day soon, I will beat your face
My boner is tan, Asian race.
When I grow up I’ll see my fate
Cuz gays are gay and gays are straight.
People eat the strangest things
This shoe belongs to Lisa Lings
Some day soon, I’ll be showbiz
If no one knows I tasted jizz.
Gays.
--------------------by Joe Cut the Shit
Ahhhh…that felt good. I am REALLY good at poems, so I thought I would just get one down on paper instead of having it roll around inside my head. If I just did this more often, I might have a book of collected works. I mean, cuz I write such good prose.
My stomach is starting to churn and burn from hunger. I am off to lunch.
What should I have today?
Salad?
Cookies?
Sandwich?
Hot dogs?
Oh yeah…pizza!
And if I wipe off the top layer of grease with my napkin, then it becomes fat free!
ROCK! I am off to La Famiglia!
AY YI YI!
